And so you’ve met Uncle Ricard – Godfather extraordinaire and provider of Pokemon cards, trips to the Tabac, bellyaching laughs and a tiny dose of embarassment for Arthur over his Englebert Humperdink singing voice (young people reading this – he was a bit like Tom Jones but has not, as yet been asked to ressurect his career with a slot on The Voice – he may, I fear have represented us at Eurovision recently though!) A better Godfather you could not wish for, especially if, like Sebastian you simply don’t have one.
An oversight at birth – a bit like his middle name which was mean to be Sebastian Edmund John White but when Peter got to register the birth he forgot we were adding in my Grandfather’s name – John and so Seb is simply Sebastian Edmund White. We’d never nominated anyone to be Seb’s godfather. He has two lovely godmother’s Jane and Camilla but no men to guide him through life save his father.
Sebastian has the face of an angel but occasionally, the temperament of the devil. He can laugh like a drain then seconds later be so angry he looks like one of the monsters on Dr Who who have come to subsume the soul of the Dr’s latest assistant. He loves being the centre of attention and I hope in later life this will manifest itself as him becoming a actor or pop star but it could also end with him as a master criminal!
Sebastian makes you want to love him so your heart pounds, but like those inappropriate boys at school, uni and life, he’ll never love you back as much. He is far too busy googling the word poo on the internet to bother with familial pleasantries. The only person he does love, listen to and seek approval from is our friend Stuey. The gorgeous Stuey who is loved by children and animals like some sort of cartoonular character. We imagine him being awoken each morning by sparrows pulling back his bedsheets with their beaks. Australian by birth which also appeals to Sebastian “one day I’m going to move to Australia with Stuey,” he tells us, Stuey has lived in the UK for the last twelve years and has gone native. We haven’t quite persuaded him to watch Coronation St yet but he does love a London pub and a Sunday roast.
He had by now payed several visits to our French home and it was one night, sitting around our kitchen table that we hatched our plot to give Sebastian the best godfather ever – the one person he really really likes (other than Animal off the Muppets). And so we asked Stuey if he would be, a bit later than planned, godfather to Seb. And he said yes of course. And we cracked open another bottle of Madiran and considered it a fine evenings work. Big tick in several boxes. And next morning we told Seb who thought it was very cool to suddenly gain a godfather at the age of four especially one who was really good at outdoor sports and comes from a land where everyone is upside down.
And then we all went skiing and Seb could show his new godfather how good he now is on skis! And we were pleased because being Australian meant skiing is the one sport Stuey ISN’T proficient at. But he’s going to learn next year and will no doubt be whipping down black runs before all of us. Strewth!